Depressions

Sometimes I go into deep depressions when everything I do just seems like crap, to put it bluntly. I’ve been down in one of those valleys lately. Even my mod started eating at me, and I thought it was the ugliest, most useless mod ever created in the history of mankind. Such depressions.

Well, last night I was down there, in the deepest pits of depression again. I actually thought about retiring from modding altogether, since I was certain that continuing Frontier would be useless. In the back of my head I knew it was wrong, but when you go down there, into depression, thoughts like that become reality and it’s like an evil downward spiral.

So I fired up my mod, for the first time in a long while. My mind and thoughts about my own creativity and my own mod changed in an instance. I saw the beauty of what I have created and how far it has actually come, and actually what a great achievement it is already at this stage, and I remembered then why modding is my therapeutic tool. It keeps me sane and it keeps me from depression. I did some modding last night too – nothing much – I pasted a few trees and tweaked some interior details here and there.

I’m not a believer in “writer’s block”, or in this case “modder’s block”. I think such expressions are just other phrases for laziness. Luckily I’m a modder, doing this for free and fun, and am allowed to be lazy every now and then, but that laziness has serious implications. I consider modding one of my forms of artistic expression, and as it is my therapeutic tool as well, it’s important to stay on track, and on top of it, since it is important for my own well-being.

10 responses to “Depressions

  1. Antiscamp,
    just be jazzy, noone is behind you, aiming at your back with a shotgun (or a claymore if you wish). Stay calm, because we’ll see this mod only when you let us to 🙂
    As far as depressions go…. well my mood is highly affected by music I listen to, perhaps yours is a well? So a bit of playful jazz might help possibly help, if you like jazz, that is… (Brian Culbertson, Peter White, Chris Geith and many other fine artists).

  2. Sending you a valley full with blossoming flowers for Frontier to blow away that nasty word depression – whoosh … 🙂

  3. HI dude, not trying to put more weight over your shoulders but i’m eager to see Frontier released… jejeje. I’ll tell you wath I think, you have shown a great work don’t forget that even if we don’t know you in person you have a group of people that believe in what you have done and are expecting more, you are talented, have proved that, just take a deep breath and sit in fron of your pc and go on. Best cure for depresion… do something!!!
    well best regards.
    PD. as usual sorry for my english.

  4. To cheer you up:
    Now the patch 1.6 is officially released and people tell that “some sort of “universal silent voice” system now seems to be in effect” – isn’t that good news?

    • Wow! Universal Silent Voice!? That’s good news indeed, because now there’s nothing preventing me from adding quests to Primby Village, for an example! Yay! Thanks for that great news, Tamira! 🙂

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