Sometimes I go into deep depressions when everything I do just seems like crap, to put it bluntly. I’ve been down in one of those valleys lately. Even my mod started eating at me, and I thought it was the ugliest, most useless mod ever created in the history of mankind. Such depressions.
Well, last night I was down there, in the deepest pits of depression again. I actually thought about retiring from modding altogether, since I was certain that continuing Frontier would be useless. In the back of my head I knew it was wrong, but when you go down there, into depression, thoughts like that become reality and it’s like an evil downward spiral.
So I fired up my mod, for the first time in a long while. My mind and thoughts about my own creativity and my own mod changed in an instance. I saw the beauty of what I have created and how far it has actually come, and actually what a great achievement it is already at this stage, and I remembered then why modding is my therapeutic tool. It keeps me sane and it keeps me from depression. I did some modding last night too – nothing much – I pasted a few trees and tweaked some interior details here and there.
I’m not a believer in “writer’s block”, or in this case “modder’s block”. I think such expressions are just other phrases for laziness. Luckily I’m a modder, doing this for free and fun, and am allowed to be lazy every now and then, but that laziness has serious implications. I consider modding one of my forms of artistic expression, and as it is my therapeutic tool as well, it’s important to stay on track, and on top of it, since it is important for my own well-being.